


I wish we could have been something

by Samos356



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: All the Heathers are hurting, F/F, Hanahaki Disease, Heather Chandler fucking dies, I Don't Even Know, I really need to work on my other things, I’m sorry I can’t write agnst, I’m trying aight, Martha and Betty are great friends, Sad boi hours, angst no comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:27:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26390380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samos356/pseuds/Samos356
Summary: Heather Chandler is in love with Veronica Sawyer. She refuses to tell her so and it leads to her demise at the hands of the Hanahaki disease.
Relationships: Heather Chandler/Veronica Sawyer, Jason "J. D." Dean/Veronica Sawyer
Comments: 10
Kudos: 40





	I wish we could have been something

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya, I blame my friend for this.   
> Let’s just put that out there.  
> I just wrote this bored and I promise I will update my other fics but I’m hitting writers block with them right now ;-;

It all started when she first saw Veronica, she remembered the fuzzy feeling in her chest when she saw her smile. She remembered the sudden need to throw up moments later. How suddenly she had begun to choke and how flowers were forcing their way up her throat as her chest constricted. 

Her airflow being cut off as she collapsed to the ground hacking and coughing. She panicked like her friends and tugged at the flowers to attempt to rid herself of them. It only made her chest burn and sting. As a last ditch effort she bit down on the stems and thank god the thin things severed and her breath returned to her. The other Heather’s escorted their shaking, crying friend to the nurses office desperate for an explanation.

They got their explanation, the nurse was horrified. She’d seen this once in training... that victim didn’t survive. She told them about what she had, the hanahaki disease, and she told Heather how to manage her illness. If she did it correctly, she could continue to live for many more years. However if she thought of Veronica in a romantic light or she would have the same experience she just did.

If she was willing to risk it, she could try have a surgery to remove the flowers however, there was a high chance she would bleed out on the table. The only other option is to make Veronica fall for her. Heather couldn’t do that, if anyone other than Mac and Duke found out that she loved a girl she would never be respected again.

So she kept her feelings to herself and managed to control the outbreaks.   
She could feel her condition worsening, it was getting harder to breathe. Two years later she took a risk, she let Veronica join the Heathers. It was closer than she’d ever been to Veronica, and she finally began to consider if she could tell Veronica. She ultimately decided against it, terrified of what the consequences would be. Dead scared that Veronica would tell everyone, that she’d be forced to the bottom of the social ladder. Ridiculed and bullied for the rest of her school career, labeled a dyke.

Then Veronica began dating Jason Dean and Heather’s heart shattered. It was over, she didn’t have long left. Each breath was difficult to take, the outbreaks were becoming more common. She began to write a letter, a letter to Veronica for when her illness inevitably overcame her. She spoke of her love for her, how she wished she could have told her without fear. How she wished she could have told her before she died.

Mac and Duke spent as much time as possible with her, they wanted to be with her when she was overwhelmed. They didn’t want her to die alone. Mac desperately tried to convince her to tell Veronica. Every single time she refused, still afraid of the aftermath. So eventually Mac let it go, her heart breaking as she watched her best friend edge slowly and painfully closer to death. They both held Heather while she cried in pain after an outbreak of flowers.

Unfortunately their plan failed and the one time she needed them they couldn’t be there.

Heather woke up with a burning pain in her chest and a violent coughing fit began as petals flew out of her mouth. She reached for her scissors to cut the flowers as they emerged and cut off her air flow. She cut them back and gasped desperately for air but more replaced them almost instantly. Tears began to fall as she hacked them off again with the same result, her lungs began to burn viciously. She felt herself getting weaker, her grip on the scissors loosening, the lack of air was finally taking its toll. She accepted that this was it when she coughed into her hand and was met with blood. She fell backwards onto her pillow, scissors limp in her hand as she coughed and grabbed at her throat. Heather opened her tearful eyes on last time before her body out and she lost consciousness.

Mcnamara and Duke found her the next morning surrounded by flowers with a pool of blood around her head. Mac began to cry and shake and Duke ran to the bathroom to throw up. They called her parents to her room, aware they didn’t care much but thought they deserved to know. Mac was disgusted by her father’s expression, his eyes seemed to say “good riddance” They contacted the principal to tell him, he said he would make an announcement. They were unsure how they felt about that but he hung up before they could say anything.

Duke noticed a folded paper on Heather’s bedside table with Veronica’s name written on it neatly. Knowing that Veronica was the one she loved they decided to take it and give it her later. When they got to school, whenever that would be...

Veronica’s reaction initially of shock, Heather had always seemed to be perfectly healthy. Although that might have been what she wanted people to think. The sadness hit shortly after, especially when she received a paper they assumed was a letter, from the other Heathers. Her heart began to break when they said they found it in Chandler’s room. She’d bonded with Heather in the last few weeks, she hadn’t been such a mythic bitch and had been rather friendly and soft.

Veronica opened it when she got home. She sat down on her bed and carefully unfolded the paper. Tears began to fall as she saw what was written on it:

“Hey Ronnie, chances are if you’re reading this I’m dead.  
Cliche I know, but it’s the truth. I don’t know if Heather and Heather told you why or how I died so I’ll just do it myself in case.  
Unfortunately I’m one of the poor souls who suffered from the Hanahaki disease. I know you did a project on it in sophomore year, so I’m sure you’re familiar...

Ever since I first saw you I knew I was in love. I could feel it, in my heart, you were what I wanted. But I could also feel that goddamned disease. That’s when I found out about my condition. That didn’t really stop me though, I couldn’t help it. How could I not be in love with you? How could not think of you as everything I wanted? So I made the mistake of still thinking of you in a romantic sense, of dreaming about dating you and being yours. I’m really stupid aren’t I?

However while I let myself live these fantasies I was too scared to tell you, terrified of someone finding out. I would never survive school and my father would definitely do something extreme. Like ship me off to a conversion camp or send me to therapy. I’m fragile enough as is, I don’t need that.

I keep falling deeper and deeper in love with you. I can’t help myself, you’re just too incredible to not. I’ve fallen particularly hard in these last weeks, or ever since I let you join us. (Which yes, was to get you closer to me because of how, you know by now I’m sure) I’ll love you until my death I guess... god I sound like such a fucking pillowcase. 

I know this probably destroys how you think of me... after all how on earth could Heather Chandler be a dyke right? I just wish things could have been different... that I could have let you in sooner, maybe then I would have the courage to tell you I love you before this.

I wish with all my heart things could be different, but that’s not how the world works. 

I love you Veronica 

-Heather Chandler“

Veronica went still, then came the sobbing. Her body was wracked with sobs, it was just her fucking luck. She’d broken up with JD the afternoon before because she’d realized her feelings were for someone else... Someone she’d just recently gotten to know probably. 

She’d realized and accepted she was in love with Heather Chandler. Of course she hadn’t known that Heather liked girls too but she’d been hyping herself up to tell her anyway. She’d been thinking of excuses for in case it went south, like saying Kurt and Ram put her up to it or something.

She’d been only a day too late, one measly day.

She screamed and shouted at Heather, demanding to know why she didn’t tell her sooner, damming her for not even telling her that she was suffering, yelling in frustration and sadness. Eventually she lost her energy to yell and instead began to sob, her body was shaking and she could feel she was hyperventilating. Her parents cane running up stairs to see what was wrong and they comforted their heartbroken daughter. They weren’t sure why she was so distraught, but they weren’t going to bother to ask until she’d calmed down.

The three of them all took a few days off of school. Often spent at Mcnamara’s house together consoling and reassuring each other. Mac was especially heart broken, Heather had been her friend since they were in Kindergarten.   
They could tell she was falling into a depressive episode. She became lethargic, it was far from normal for the bubbly, cheery Mac. Veronica also shut down for those days spent at home, Martha and Betty came by to see it she was okay. She ended up telling them everything, showing them the letter.

Veronica spent a day with Betty and Martha, it helped her quite a lot just to be able to see her old friends who knew exactly how to cheer her up. They worked their magic and Veronica felt as though she had recovered somewhat.

She hoped she could help Mac do the same. It would be difficult, but she was determined. She also knew it would be harder, Mac had just lost her best friend. That would shake anyone to the core. 

Slowly over the course of 3 months the Heathers and Veronica managed to move themselves past Chandler’s death.

But Veronica knew there was always going to be that part of her who wished she could have saved Heather and been happy with her. 

That was a part of it she’d just have to get used to.


End file.
